Friday, November 19, 2004

Before sunrise.....

hey everyone,

this week has brought about a lot of realizations for me, so much neural training has gone into my head, rather, attempts to clean the cobwebs from my head on issues that i have kept dodgin all thru my life. All my life i was happy that by pullin off these matrix-ish stunts of dodgin issues, i am what i am today. True this could be a reason, but how long is it gonna take the ghosts of my past to catch up on me and what will i do when i do confront them? and it looks like they have come pretty close....

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Nitin, Chandru, Roshan and me, Executive Committee members of the Indian Students Org at the University of Houston 2002-03. We were a team that pulled of so many firsts in cleaning up a 'gone-wrong' org. Communication was the key for us, and I probably learnt so much from these guys, that bring us together anytime, anywhere, even to pull of a heist in the middle of vegas (aka oceans eleven) , i'd never refuse. and i doubt whether they will too....

Nitin will be movin to philly in a couple of days that marks a transition in his path from a home we all called houston. So we met at the normal hangout, the adda, a Stop'n'Go on Kirby and Sunset blvd before he left. This place was where we dealt with so many issues when we were the politikal honchos at the org. I didnt realize we'd deal with any issues today. But i guess we had to.....
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Anyway Sankaracharya is still in jail today, and what I have slowly realizin is, this issue has started creatin a black and white issue on where ppl stand. The ones with faith have become stronger in the beliefs and the ones who never believed dont do so today....its almost like seperating the rice from the chaff, the believers from the non-believers. and In a sample space of 10, I have seen 4 who think he is not guilty, 4 who think he is, and 2 who dont know or care. And by the time this episode ends, we will have more hate in the society than tolerence. is it worth it?....the law should take its own course, should it?

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we met @ 11:30 pm and for a change nitin was on time :). grabbin our coffees, we sat down outside the store pickin up from where we left off....the state of the indian students org. What started as a harmless issue to talk about became big with the effects of globalization, the indian model on acceptin globalization, the chinese attack on the world economy, defense dealings in our country, and somewhere in the middle was the issue of running over a dawg in the US and in India?? by the time this ended it was 2:30 and it was startin to get kinda chilly lower 50s i guess...now we were hungry....and with an IHOP close by thats where we headed.....

upon orderin our meals, we started dealin with issues more closer to home, more closer to our personalities, why we were the way we were, our parents skool of thought in bringin us up, the new skool of thought that we create for ourselves, what we expect from life and this went on for another 3 hours......i dont remember the details of what we spoke about, rather what i and chandru kept ramblin on and on, and nitin's and roshan's pieces of their own experiences, it all only seemed material worth publishin in the annual shrinks journal, if there was one.

at the end of it, i got out of there knowin exactly what i have to do, feelin relieved to have had this discussion when i still had the time to make a difference. only now i realized how pre-historic my views were, not because i always thought that way, but because i never upgraded those thoughts with time. It was almost like havin an age old Antivirus which was never upgraded to handle todays trojans.

I still have to think about them, but will now give myself more ammo to deal with these situations. We all have to go thru these discussions i guess, to know where we stand in the food chain or in other words, the thought-chain.

to be a better person or not is finally left to us.

this is what happened before sunrise....

and u thought this was about a movie?...:)

seeya tomorrow....

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