Tuesday, September 27, 2005

for better or for worse....playin poker with life, time and some cowards...

life has totally shifted gears in the last few weeks. there have been changes at so many levels, though many questions remain the same. I have made a mess of many situations though not strikingly harmful, and I have achieved things I couldnt dream of just a few months ago.

I think time has everything to do with it. No, im not being philosophical, neither am i in a mood to be modest. I have seen ppl complain that time isnt on their side, but not many who attribute their well being to it. Not that i have a problem with all that, its just that i can never see life the same way ever again. It will also probably change the way i make decisions on why someone did or didnt do somethin, and whether it is prudent to be judgemental about anythin.

OK take 'Being Judgemental' out of ure life. Imagine a situation where u dont judge anyone, or any action. You wont complain y the car in front of u cut u off, neither will u judge y the cashier didnt fill ure groceries into a bag. You just take it as it is, slow down, and fill ure own bags.

Life does seem a little bit emptier now, feels like u have more energy and more time. At the same time u see so much more potential to do things you may have never thought of doing before. You read a novel in the park, go for long walks watching the sunset, learn newer technologies that might some day pull u somewhere. Its not that u substituted anythin worthwhile in ure life, u still hang out with friends, catch a movie, go out for dinner. But ure filling in for lost moments and energy, and pushing ureself to the edge of ure existence. I guess this is what they call living ure life and livin it fully.

Whatever u choose to do, it will always strike u as movin forward. Not getting pushed into a corner by time and life ( usually they pose as ppl ) I can think of so many hours I might have spent not getting the right results, not bcos of a lack of effort on my part, but bcos the synergy wasnt there.

Today my boss IM'ed me while at work. " Please can I see you for a minute"

I thought I had heard that somewhere. Yes, those were the same exact words one of my earlier bosses would use before giving some news, usually bad. And just as u associate every statement, every tune, every thought in ure life to a feeling, my hands started shaking when i typed " Sure"

The matter was serious, but this is where the positive synergy pushes thru. He explained to me things exactly like my earlier nemesis, but added his own thoughts, " I will fight for u and see that things will be fair"

That is the difference between sinking me and helping me.

Such contrast usually exists in all our lives, but i can remember this one, bcos they came within a yr of each other. I usually curse my earlier boss and praise my current one, but I know its not them personally that I hate or like. It just the time and the place where we all met, the climaxing of synergies.

OK, so where do u go from here? That's an excellent question. I think the right answer would be in pursuit. of what? well maybe, in pursuit of excellence, in pursuit of a dream, in pursuit of a vision. You may never reach any of them, but the effort will show in character u carry with u. They say scars will always show, True, but the medals will also be up there.

i see so many ppl around me, who carry negativity along with them like thats a true friend. No its not, its just a parasite feeding off u, but will be there till u shrug it off. I dont see anything come out of being negative. Its just plain sad that ppl can be negative when things are fine. Not fine enuf they say, but thats just bcos they r not truthful in their evaluations. You can never want somethin way outta ure league, but u can sure wish for it.

There is also this thing about nothing lasting forever. A Guns'n'Roses song perhaps, a tag line for a commercial. If the world surely was in a state of constant flux and everything has a critical mass associated with it, where does an individual fit in? I think the answer to that would be in making the right moves. Jumping from one situation to the other. The smart ones do it right. The reluctant ones end up cribbing and going into a state of denial.

This means Microsoft will not last forever. Neither will Google, but it has a smaller mass and more energy associated with it now. Thats just an example.

And one more tatvam before I return to my poker game, is the positive gain u make being truthful to the right ppl. Someone who is a true judge of things is worth being truthful to.

I shall return when I know more. The mountains whisper some of these notes in my ears every time I visit them. I think they have held it within themselves for all these centuries. I wont be around for even one.


Blogger Nachiketas said...

This post struck a chord somewhere inside me. Where do we go from here? In pursuit of what? You know, all these high philosophies, and so many complex theories seem to hide one inescaple mundane fact behind layers and layers of euphemisms. SURVIVAL. For our species, maybe the connocation of that word is power, "peace of mind" once we have certain tangible posessions etc etc; you know the rest of the regular stuff. Every living organism in the world strived basically for that :survival. Now, is that the real mundane truth that our psyche is not capable of accepting or what in the hell is that other subtle slippery truth anyway? Oh, and best wished and all the best.

1:10 AM  
Blogger Simba said...

Hey dude,wazzup...nice site man.way to go! been long since spoken to u...ages u can say.to update u abt e..am with GE COmmericial FInance in Danbury,CT. YES..life just couldn't get more boring. anyways..take care buddy and do kepe in touch. wats ure number...will shoot a tinker.

7:30 AM  
Anonymous UK said...

nachiketas said it right.. survival is the key word. earlier it was struggle to survive with nature and now it's struggle to survive in this society.

5:58 PM  

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