Tuesday, October 04, 2005

salaam bombay!

"Do you think the spaces grew wider between all of us ? What do you make of that?," He asked pulling out blades of grass without any concern for the lives he just took.

I was lying on the grass with the sun in my face, making me blink every two seconds to avoid facing the bright light. " Nothing much really, isnt that what happens to all us at some point. I guess the world is large enough for us. Plus being away helps you grow and also helps you meet other ppl. I miss Bombay more than anything else though. I just want to feel the chaos that engulfs you in the city. It may not be the perfect place to be, but its perfect enough for me. "

He was looking at some kid throw a ball, and for a moment I thought he didnt hear what I had just said. " Ya, even me, I dont really feel anything about the people I will never see again in my life, I couldnt care less for them than anyone in this city. I sometimes shudder to think how disconnected from everything we all are. We are just floating around in this world bouncing off walls and trees. Then suddenly we feel as though we deserve some identity, that we juggle our lives around at the drop of a hat. How do we tolerate this man? I remember times when people complained that call centers in india made ppl lead double lives, where an unknown personality controlled you. How are we any different here? Arent we living double lives as well? A yearning to lead a better life here, and at the same time a feeling of abandonment because whatever said and done we all know what we want. A first world life in India."

" I used to get surprised when my American and European colleagues were amazed that we all reached out so far in the world leaving our country behind, not to feel patriotic or anything, but just that we left our backyards , our gullis, our homes. We didnt have opportunities in India, thats what we said, which is true, I dont disagree. Its just that how did we get to this state of affairs man. How did it become normal to keep starting all over again with our lives wherever we went? I've toh become numb at all this, moving , starting shop, starting my life. You almost do things not to lose out on the opportunities that come your way. Just at the cost of making the world your home."

I laughed at his analysis. I knew that somewhere in all of us, the tempo-immigrant generation of our country, lay unanswered questions, feelings of disillusionment about our country, at the same time not accepting any ridicule against it. Which I thought was ironic, considering the fact that if we were really die-hard fans of the country, we would be striving to make things right there. We, however are the die-hard-leave-me-alone fans, the ones who will defend India's cause sitting in their LA-Boston apartments, the pseudo desh bhakts.

I have even heard ppl say everything is fine in India. They smile, when you talk about how things never go according to plan, and say, " Well thats how things are in India." Like it was a rule that everyone spoke about, but noone followed.

" Well I think we are doing fine, its just a matter of creating your own world and living in it. Life's too short to have everything. Just take what comes. Plus its a good sign that you are fighting for whatever you believe in, money, fame, name, whatever... You will always get time when you are like 60 to go back and lead a quiet life. I call that the best of both worlds, getting to spend part of your life in places that appreciate them."

" If you think about your loss of not being able to relate to anything in India, forget it, you wont be able to relate to most things you grew up around even now. So if really thats the case, then why bother worrying about it. Everything has a shelf-life, its moment in the spotlight. Enjoy it when you can, move on to the next best thing. I am just spelling it out here, we all know thats what everyone does. Getting stuck in a moment is for U2 to sing, not for anyone to live."

" Being nostalgic is nice when you have someone to share it with. The mind too is such a wonderful thing, one thought you are here, the next you are in bby having a bhel. This is our power man, the power to at least think we have a plan. Whether it works out or not is a different issue. How many people think about such things, past, present and future, and make judgement calls without having a bias to it? To me that is our victory, to grow bigger than ourselves and pushing hard to reach the limits. Countries, cities, places...all just obstacles in the way to something better. "

" But yes i must admit. I miss bby...." I smiled and looked at him.

He was still lost in thought. Luckily just in thought.


I had to write this after reading Indus creed's words on their website....

very very special thanks to bombay city for bearing and nurturing us, for allowing us to be ourselves and to grow up so goddamned confused but still happy to have had the privilege, for helping us grow to fit anywhere and still nowhere really, and finally giving us the incentive to get the hell out.

inspired by their music. inspired by their words....

salaaam bombay!


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7:09 PM  
Blogger AdHocQuirks said...

this is an awesome post! i can draw parallels on some of my thoughts to what written here..
is this conversation real?

8:44 AM  
Blogger Sujata said...

Good One!!

2:58 PM  
Blogger Santosh said...

good post.. i can so totally relate to it. i really miss home.. but at the same time i wanna be a world trotter..
what do i want? where am i goin?

*me pondering*

10:45 PM  

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