Thursday, December 29, 2005

I have changed. Seriously. I have.

The weeks pass and the days trudge along. I feel younger in spirit but older in shape. Is this me?

Only God knows when I stopped being me, but now I feel more alive and ready to do things I only dreamed of when I was me. The baggage is now much lighter and the mind more sharp. Is this where I am supposed to be or have I become so bored of my existence that the makeover eventually had to happen.

In geopolitical sense I feel like the new China ( just an example) where the new markets and the old core politics remain. Or somewhere between Bharat of the old and India of the new.

Why I say this is because when I turn around there are fewer people with me, and even fewer who seem to agree with me. Many just shrug when asked if they know me. Earlier, I would have waited to make my point. But not now. I dont think I have the time, the energy nor the will to drag everyone along, to convince them of my point. I just feel I will meet a new set of people who already understand what I say, and who already know my point of view.

Thats just a feeling, because I have had to come back alone in the past. Because I never used to find anyone there. But that could also be because I never went far enough.

I have also lost my usually high tolerence limit to listen to nonsense. The truth is I have seen people fill my head with crap and I used to listen, because my basic premise was that everyone had something important to say, and if I listened hard enough I would be able to make that connection. But I would get tired listening to yards and yards of fairy tales to get that inch of an information. Not now. I dont care for that information anymore and I get mine from my sources who are reliable enough. Period.

So why the rant.

Because the change scares me at the same time.


Blogger Nachiketas said...

looks like you are on the road to imbibing a little cynical aspect to your personality mate.

8:41 PM  
Blogger Sujata said...

contradicting the inner-self..without much vigor now?

8:45 AM  

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