Thursday, December 29, 2005

I have changed. Seriously. I have.

The weeks pass and the days trudge along. I feel younger in spirit but older in shape. Is this me?

Only God knows when I stopped being me, but now I feel more alive and ready to do things I only dreamed of when I was me. The baggage is now much lighter and the mind more sharp. Is this where I am supposed to be or have I become so bored of my existence that the makeover eventually had to happen.

In geopolitical sense I feel like the new China ( just an example) where the new markets and the old core politics remain. Or somewhere between Bharat of the old and India of the new.

Why I say this is because when I turn around there are fewer people with me, and even fewer who seem to agree with me. Many just shrug when asked if they know me. Earlier, I would have waited to make my point. But not now. I dont think I have the time, the energy nor the will to drag everyone along, to convince them of my point. I just feel I will meet a new set of people who already understand what I say, and who already know my point of view.

Thats just a feeling, because I have had to come back alone in the past. Because I never used to find anyone there. But that could also be because I never went far enough.

I have also lost my usually high tolerence limit to listen to nonsense. The truth is I have seen people fill my head with crap and I used to listen, because my basic premise was that everyone had something important to say, and if I listened hard enough I would be able to make that connection. But I would get tired listening to yards and yards of fairy tales to get that inch of an information. Not now. I dont care for that information anymore and I get mine from my sources who are reliable enough. Period.

So why the rant.

Because the change scares me at the same time.

2 Comments:

Blogger Nachiketas said...

looks like you are on the road to imbibing a little cynical aspect to your personality mate.

8:41 PM  
Blogger Sujata said...

contradicting the inner-self..without much vigor now?

8:45 AM  

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